I’m Not Really a Nice Person…
I was out with a friend recently, just walking the mall and talking. We were in a hat store and I’d picked out a hat for myself and said that I was going to get one for my husband as well. My friend remarked, “That’s nice of you”. I stated, “I’m not really a nice person. I’m kind.” The cashier looked at me and was visually quite disturbed by what I said. Being nice and kind may seem similar on the surface, as they both involve displaying positive behavior towards others. However, there are subtle differences between the two concepts.
A nice person is usually pleasant, and agreeable. They may use polite language, display good manners, and typically try to avoid conflicts or confrontations. Nice people often prioritize social harmony and strive to be well-liked by others. While their intentions are generally positive, being nice can sometimes be superficial or driven by a desire for personal gain or approval.
On the other hand, being a kind person goes beyond mere politeness or surface-level interactions. Kindness is rooted in genuine empathy and compassion for others. It involves actively seeking opportunities to help or uplift others without expecting reciprocity. Kind people demonstrate understanding, patience, and consideration for the well-being of others.
Here are a few key distinctions between being nice and being kind:
1. Motivation: Nice behavior can sometimes be motivated by ulterior motives or maintaining one’s social standing. Whereas kindness is driven by genuine care for others' well-being.
2. Depth of impact: Nice gestures often focus on superficial actions, such as saying pleasant things or offering compliments. Kindness aims to make a meaningful and positive impact on the lives of others.
3. Empathy: Kindness stems from a deep understanding of others' emotions, experiences, and needs, while niceness can be more superficial.
4. Selflessness: Kindness is often selfless and may involve personal sacrifices to benefit others. Niceness may be driven by a desire for personal validation or rewards.
5. Consistency: Being nice is oftentimes situational or dependent on external factors. While kindness tends to be consistent and is not limited to specific situations or people.
While both niceness and kindness involve positive behavior, and service from the heart, kindness, goes well beyond surface-level actions and stems from genuine empathy and selflessness. It involves actively seeking ways to make positive impacts in the lives of others and consistently demonstrating care and understanding.
So it begs the question, are you a nice person or a kind one?
Coach T